Promotion

Satire · HSK 6

Star of the Month

The whole office scrambles for the Star Employee honor, until someone reads the fine print beneath the certificate.

Scene 1: The Brand-New Gold Plaque

周一早上,行政部在墙上挂起一块金灿灿的牌子,上面印着四个大字:本月之星。

zhōuyīzǎoshàng,xíngzhèngbùzàiqiángshàngguàqǐyíkuàijīncàncàndepáizi,shàngmiànyìnzhesìgèdàzì:běnyuèzhīxīng。

Monday morning, the admin department hung a gleaming gold plaque on the wall, four big characters printed across it: Star of the Month.

经理把全组人召集到牌子底下,语气里满是难以掩饰的兴奋。

jīnglǐbǎquánzǔrénzhàojídàopáizidǐxià,yǔqìlǐmǎnshìnányǐyǎnshìdexīngfèn。

The manager gathered the whole team beneath the plaque, his voice brimming with barely concealed excitement.

Manager

从这个月起,最突出的同事,照片就挂在这儿,让大家都看得见!

cóngzhègeyuèqǐ,yèjìzuìtūchūdetóngshì,zhàopiànjiùguàzàizhèr,ràngdàjiādōukàndéjiàn!

Starting this month, whoever has the best performance gets their photo hung right here, for everyone to see!

Xiao Lin

那……当选的人有没有奖金啊?

nà……dāngxuǎnderényǒuméiyǒujiǎngjīna?

So... does the winner get a bonus or anything?

Manager

奖金嘛,公司正在研究。才是最珍贵的,对不对?

jiǎngjīnma,gōngsīzhèngzàiyánjiū。róngyùcáishìzuìzhēnguìde,duìbuduì?

A bonus, well, the company is looking into it. Recognition is what truly matters, don't you think?

Scene 2: The Silent Race

为了那张挂在墙上的照片,整个办公室的气氛悄悄变了味。

wèilenàzhāngguàzàiqiángshàngdezhàopiàn,zhěnggèbàngōngshìdeqìfēnqiāoqiāobiànlewèi。

All for that one photo on the wall, the mood across the whole office quietly soured.

老张天天最晚走,临走前还故意把灯关得砰砰响,生怕经理没听见。

lǎozhāngtiāntiānzuìwǎnzǒu,línzǒuqiánháigùyìbǎdēngguāndépēngpēngxiǎng,shēngpàjīnglǐméitīngjiàn。

Old Zhang was the last to leave every single day, and on his way out he'd deliberately flick the lights off with a loud bang, terrified the manager might not hear it.

Old Zhang

哎,我这人就是闲不住,活儿不干完,心里不踏实。

āi,wǒzhèrénjiùshìxiánbúzhù,huórbùgānwán,xīnlǐbútàshí。

Ah, I just can't sit still, that's the kind of guy I am. If the work isn't done, I can't rest easy.

小林也,把周末的截图发到了群里,配上一个微笑的表情。

xiǎolínyěbùgānshìruò,bǎzhōumòjiābāndejiétúfādàoleqúnlǐ,pèishàngyígèwēixiàodebiǎoqíng。

Not to be outdone, Xiao Lin posted a screenshot of her weekend overtime to the group chat, topped off with a little smiley face.

Scene 3: The Fine Print

月底揭晓,老张果然当选,照片被郑重地贴上了那块金牌子。

yuèdǐpíngxuǎnjiēxiǎo,lǎozhāngguǒrándāngxuǎn,zhàopiànbèizhèngzhòngdìtiēshànglenàkuàijīnpáizi。

At the end of the month the results were announced, and sure enough Old Zhang won; his photo was solemnly pasted onto that gold plaque.

他正地仰着头欣赏,眼角却瞥见牌子最下面有一行极小的字。

tāzhèngměizīzīdìyǎngzhetóuxīnshǎng,yǎnjiǎoquèpiējiànpáizizuìxiàmiànyǒuyìhángjíxiǎodezì。

He was tilting his head back, basking smugly in the sight, when out of the corner of his eye he caught a line of tiny print at the very bottom of the plaque.

Old Zhang

本月之星……享有优先紧急项目之权利?这是什么意思?

běnyuèzhīxīng……xiǎngyǒuyōuxiānchéngdānjǐnjíxiàngmùzhīquánlì?zhèshìshénmeyìsī?

Star of the Month... shall enjoy the privilege of being first in line to take on urgent projects? What is that supposed to mean?

话音未落,经理就笑眯眯地走过来,手里抱着厚厚一摞文件。

huàyīnwèiluò,jīnglǐjiùxiàomīmīdìzǒuguòlái,shǒulǐbàozhehòuhòuyíluòwénjiàn。

Before the words had even left his mouth, the manager came strolling over with a beaming smile, a thick stack of documents in his arms.

Scene 4: A Well-Deserved Reward

Manager

老张啊,恭喜恭喜!这个临时加急的方案,非你这位明星不可了。

lǎozhānga,gōngxǐgōngxǐ!zhègelínshíjiājídefāngàn,fēinǐzhèwèimíngxīngbùkěle。

Old Zhang, congratulations, congratulations! This last-minute rush proposal, well, who else but our star could possibly handle it?

整个办公室霎时安静得能听见针掉在地上,刚才还较着劲的人纷纷低下了头。

zhěnggèbàngōngshìshàshíānjìngdénéngtīngjiànzhēndiàozàidìshàng,gāngcáiháijiàozhejìnderénfēnfēndīxiàletóu。

In an instant the whole office fell so silent you could hear a pin drop, and the people who had just been competing all lowered their heads.

Xiao Lin

(小声)原来这颗星,是越亮越要命啊。

(xiǎoshēng)yuánláizhèkēxīng,shìyuèliàngyuèyàomìnga。

(under her breath) So it turns out the brighter this star shines, the deadlier it gets.

第二个月,那块金牌子下面排起了长队——大家地请假。

dìèrgèyuè,nàkuàijīnpáizixiàmiànpáiqǐlechángduì——dàjiāzhēngxiānkǒnghòudìqǐngjià。

The following month, a long line formed beneath that gold plaque, everyone falling over themselves to request time off.

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