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Satire · HSK 6

The Wealth Guru

A speaker charges a fortune to teach the world how to get rich—until an elderly student asks one question that drops the whole auditorium into dead silence.

A Seminar for a Thousand

下,王启明甩了甩西装袖子,台下黑压压坐满了人。

jùguāngdēngxià,wángqǐmíngshuǎileshuǎixīzhuāngxiùzi,táixiàhēiyāyāzuòmǎnlerén。

Under the spotlight, Wang Qiming gave his suit sleeves a flick. Below the stage, a dense sea of people filled every seat.

Wang Qiming

各位,财富不是省出来的,是脑子里想出来的!

gèwèi,cáifùbúshìshěngchūláide,shìnǎozilǐxiǎngchūláide!

Everyone, wealth isn't something you save your way into—it's something you think your way into!

大屏幕上滚动着他的豪车、海景别墅和遍布全国的分公司。

dàpíngmùshànggǔndòngzhetādeháochē、hǎijǐngbiéshùhébiànbùquánguódefēngōngsī。

Scrolling across the big screen were his luxury cars, his oceanfront villa, and branch offices spread across the entire country.

Wang Qiming

三年前我也,靠的就是这套思维,谁学谁发财!

sānniánqiánwǒyěyìwúsuǒyǒu,kàodejiùshìzhètàosīwéi,shuíxuéshuífācái!

Three years ago I had nothing either. All I relied on was this mindset—whoever learns it gets rich!

台下掌声雷动,不少人当场就掏出手机了。

táixiàzhǎngshēngléidòng,bùshǎoréndāngchǎngjiùtāochūshǒujīsǎomǎbàomíngle。

The crowd burst into thunderous applause, and quite a few people whipped out their phones on the spot to scan the code and sign up.

The Hundred-Thousand-Yuan Package

中场休息时,助理小李把一份合同悄悄递到前排。

zhōngchǎngxiūxishí,zhùlǐxiǎolǐbǎyífènhétongqiāoqiāodìdàoqiánpái。

During the intermission, his assistant Xiao Li quietly slipped a contract down to the front row.

Xiao Li

这是终极弟子班,名额只剩三个,十万一位,错过就没了。

zhèshìzhōngjídìzǐbān,míngézhīshèngsāngè,shíwànyīwèi,cuòguòjiùméile。

This is the elite inner-circle class—only three spots left, a hundred thousand each. Miss it and it's gone.

一个戴老花镜的退休教师举着合同,翻来覆去看了好几遍。

yígèdàilǎohuājìngdetuìxiūjiàoshījǔzhehétong,fānláifùqùkànlehǎojǐbiàn。

A retired teacher in reading glasses held up the contract, turning it over and over and reading it several times.

Retired Teacher

王老师赚得,怎么还天天忙着收这点学费呢?

wánglǎoshīzhuàndépénmǎnbōmǎn,zěnmeháitiāntiānmángzheshōuzhèdiǎnxuéfèine?

Mr. Wang's raking it in hand over fist—so why is he still busy day after day collecting these little tuition fees?

小李愣了愣,干笑两声,赶紧把话题岔了过去。

xiǎolǐlènglelèng,gānxiàoliǎngshēng,gǎnjǐnbǎhuàtíchàleguòqù。

Xiao Li froze for a moment, forced out a couple of dry laughs, and hurriedly steered the conversation elsewhere.

The Question in the Hall

下半场提问环节,那位退休教师慢悠悠地站了起来。

xiàbànchǎngtíwènhuánjié,nàwèituìxiūjiàoshīmànyōuyōudìzhànleqǐlái。

During the Q&A in the second half, that retired teacher rose unhurriedly to his feet.

Retired Teacher

王老师,您的思维既然这么值钱,自己不就行了?

wánglǎoshī,níndesīwéijìránzhèmezhíqián,zìjǐmēnshēngfācáibújiùxíngle?

Mr. Wang, if your mindset is really worth so much, why not just quietly get rich off it yourself?

Retired Teacher

何必费这么大劲,把它一遍遍卖给我们这些呢?

hébìfèizhèmedàjìn,bǎtāyíbiànbiànmàigěiwǒmenzhèxiēwàihángne?

Why go to all this trouble selling it over and over to amateurs like us?

全场骤然安静下来,几千双眼睛望向台上。

quánchǎngzhòuránānjìngxiàlái,jǐqiānshuāngyǎnjīngqíshuāshuāwàngxiàngtáishàng。

The whole hall fell abruptly silent, and thousands of pairs of eyes turned as one toward the stage.

王启明脸上的笑容僵了一瞬,话筒里传出一阵刺耳的杂音。

wángqǐmíngliǎnshàngdexiàoróngjiāngleyíshùn,huàtǒnglǐchuánchūyízhèncìěrdezáyīn。

The smile on Wang Qiming's face froze for an instant, and a burst of harsh static screeched out of the microphone.

The Notice at the Back Door

他干咳一声,硬挤出一句“财富要靠分享才能放大”,便匆匆宣布散场。

tāgānkéyìshēng,yìngjǐchūyíjù“cáifùyàokàofēnxiǎngcáinéngfàngdà”,biàncōngcōngxuānbùsànchǎng。

He cleared his throat and forced out a line—"Wealth can only multiply when it's shared"—then hastily declared the session over.

散场后,退休教师扶着栏杆下楼,无意间走到了后门。

sànchǎnghòu,tuìxiūjiàoshīfúzhelángānxiàlóu,wúyìjiānzǒudàolehòumén。

After it ended, the retired teacher made his way downstairs holding the railing and, by chance, wandered over to the back door.

墙上贴着一张,红章盖在“场地租金逾期”几个字上。

qiángshàngtiēzheyìzhāngcuīkuǎntōngzhī,hóngzhānggàizài“chǎngdìzūjīnyúqī”jǐgèzìshàng。

Pasted on the wall was an overdue-payment notice, a red stamp pressed over the words "venue rent past due."

王启明正背对着他,对着电话压低嗓子央求再宽限三天。

wángqǐmíngzhèngbèiduìzhetā,duìzhediànhuàyādīsǎngziyāngqiúzàikuānxiànsāntiān。

Wang Qiming had his back to him, lowering his voice into the phone, pleading for just three more days' grace.

老人摇摇头,把那份十万的合同轻轻塞进了路边的垃圾桶。

lǎorényáoyáotóu,bǎnàfènshíwàndehétongqīngqīngsāijìnlelùbiāndelājītǒng。

The old man shook his head and gently tucked that hundred-thousand-yuan contract into a roadside trash bin.

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